1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and re fold a
road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa bib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking
fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a)
having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and
hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up
display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are
not connected.
6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over
and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
one more chance.
7. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by
asking, "Do you work here?"
8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on
the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the
rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
11. ELBONICS (el bon icks') n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.
12. ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more
you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
13. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to
give up and sweep it under the rug.
14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) v. Manhandling the "open
here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the
illegal side.
15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come
to life.
16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose
seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front
of a household pet.
18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
19. PUPKUS (pup kus') n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses
it nose to it.
20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the
phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches
away.
